Take Two
by FerryBerry
Summary: AU. Quinn wants Rachel to fill out the survey again - only right this time. Part 3 of the 'Reading Material' series.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _Glee_ writers and creators.

**A/N:** I dunno. I got bored reading Plato, so I thought this would be a fun break. Regular=Rachel's words. _Italics=Quinn's_. **Bold=Questions**. Hope y'all enjoy. :)

**Take Two**

**XxX41myeohmye14XxX's Sex Questionnaire** (Take Two)

**1. Name?** Still extremely personal, by the way, but it's Mad Libby again. _What if I wanted to be Mad Libby?_ You can't. Come up with something else. _Fine. I'm…Suzie Q._ How unoriginal. _I could be Sexy Q._ Better.

**2. Reason for taking this?** My insane girlfriend is making me do it again so I won't talk about XXXX XX XXXXXXX this time. _What did you __just__ say? Now I have to scribble it out._ May I just point out that your paranoia is reaching new heights? I'm getting concerned. _You know you think it's hot._ Anyway.

**3. Sexual orientation (if you know)?** Bi. _Liar._ Currently a full-blown lesbian with a girlfriend. _That's better._

**4. Which sex are the majority of your fantasies about?** They're pretty much all about Sexy Q. _Pretty__ much?_ Again, with the paranoia. All of my sexual fantasies are about you. _They better be_.

**Have you ever:**

**5. …kissed someone?** Duh. _That wasn't very eloquent of you._ Are you going to comment on every single thing I say on this? _Probably._ How do you roll your eyes on paper? _RME._ Ah. RME to the tenth power. _That's not very nice. I'm withholding tonight._ No, you aren't.

**6. Had sex?** Yes, I have. Several times. _And several more times tonight._ I told you you weren't withholding. _Damn you._ Now who's not being nice?

**7. Dry humped?** Yes, indeed. _Have not._ Not with you. _Only with people we are __not__ mentioning._ It's not my fault you can't keep your clothes on. _I can, too. You'll see._ Should I be worried? _Only if you're afraid of dry humping with a girl._

_You are now permitted to answer this question with a yes._ Okay, so yes, I have. _And it was awesome._ Excellent.

**8. Been walked in on?** No. Sexy Q is even sneakier than I am, actually, so the whole 'Coach Sylvester's desk' thing ended up working out after all. _You still owe me ten bucks._

**9. Had someone watch?** Not to my knowledge, unless she's kinkier than I thought. _Ew, no. No one's allowed to see that but me._ Thank God.

**10. Watched others have sex?** Still no. _Unless watching me counts._ I don't think that's what this was asking. _Oh. Well, I think it's worth mentioning._ You think any time I was in handcuffs is worth mentioning. _Come on, you know that was awesome._ Torturous is the word, Q.

**11. Made out at a dance?** Yes. _OMG, Santana's face was hilarious._ I'd prefer not to think about that. _Well, don't think about __after__ the facial expression._ It's impossible. The sounds of her gagging will haunt me forever. _You're so dramatic._ And you're just now realizing this…?

**12. Had sex at a dance?** Of course not. _If stupid Santana hadn't shown up…._ It still would've been no. _That's what you think._

**13. Gone to a hotel just to have sex? **Well, that was really our only option after getting caught at the dance. _Good times. Their complimentary breakfast waffles were good._ The syrup was even better. _:D_

**14. Had sex on your parents's bed?** Again with the ew. _That would be gross. I don't want to think about that._

**15. Had sex with your parents home, without them knowing?** Only because Sexy Q is really Horny Q. _It is not my fault that you decided to sing 'Touchin' On My' while clad in only your underwear._ I told you: I was changing into my pajamas. _Sure. And you decided to take a singing break between being dressed and undressed._ Yeah? _You're insane._ Look who's talking.

**16. Had sex the first time you met someone?** No. As I said _We'll just leave it at that._ But _No._ Stop stealing my pen. Thank you.

**17. Had sex at a movie?** So many times…. _You pick boring movies._ Right. And who was the one who begged to go see that Harry Potter movie? _I realized I'm Christian, so I think witchcraft is evil._ That is the lamest excuse I have ever heard. Or is it seen? _Read, probably._ Sounds good to me.

**18. Had sex in a public place?** Since being with Q, I've broken this standard more times than I care to admit. _I win._

**19. Had sex outdoors?** Surprisingly, no. _You were right the first time you filled this out. Bugs are gross. Your sweaters, however, could use a few grass stains._ I'm going to ignore that.

**20. Had sex while driving?** Yes. And it's not a safe activity. _It was so fun._ You think almost driving into a ditch is fun? _No, but the sex part was._

**21. Had sex with chocolate sauce, honey, etc.?** Again, so many times. Fortunately, my Sexy Q was smart enough to find a solution to the morning-after mess. _:D_

**22. Had sex sitting?** Yes. _What, no other comment? I'm hurt._ And it's hot. _Thank you._

**23. Had sex standing?** Yes, often. _Because I'm cooler than the people we aren't mentioning._ Exactly.

**24. Had sex with a virgin?** She was a virgin to lesbian sex, so I count it. _Stupid man we aren't mentioning._

**25. Had sex with bondage?** I think this goes without saying. _Say it, anyway._ Of course I have. _And?_ And it's more fun than I thought it would be. Especially when we mix in the chocolate and stripteasing. _I told you so…._

**26. Had sex with more than one person at a time?** N _No! Mine!_ I was going to say no, but anyway.

**27. Had sex with both a man and a woman (at different times)?** This question still makes no sense. _I think they mean have you had sex with both sexes. But they sort of already covered that._ See what I meant about the proofreading? This is ridiculous. _Chill._

**28. Had sex with both a man and a woman (at the same time)?** _Why aren't you answering?_ I was expecting a swift 'No, mine!' _Ah. Well, I think I've made my point. But still. Mine._

**29. Had sex with 3 or more in the same night?** Definitely not. _Stupid question._

**30. Teased someone successfully for over an hour?** Over two, once. _You are __so__ good at that. We need to take a break. Right now._

**31. Done a striptease?** I did just now, in fact, as part of the aforementioned teasing. _I don't know why you bothered putting your clothes back on._ Because you like ripping them off. _True._

**32. Seen a striptease at a public establishment?** Still not old enough, and I can just ask Sexy Q now. _Anything for my Mad Libby._

**33. Bought sexual aids? **Yes. _We have a special credit card. _Why is that pertinent information? _Because we have a credit card together._ … _Just trust me, it's important._

**34. Used sexual aids?** Yes. _And?_ With someone else now. _And?_ It's sexy as all hell. _Language._ You know you like it. _;D_

**35. Seduced someone?** I've perfected the art. _You really have. But you should practice anyway. Right now. _We're almost to the end. Can't it wait? _Fine. I see how you are._

**36. MADE your fantasy come true?** Many times over, in fact. _You could do it again…right now._

**37. Caused someone who was straight or gay to become bisexual?** I think I may have actually pushed her all the way over to gay. _We could be gay together right now._ There are only five questions left.

**Favorite:**

**38. Position?** That's an extremely tough call. _Well?_ I'm thinking. _I am waiting…._ Okay, I think I like any position where Sexy Q is above me, because she looks amazing with her hair cascading around her shoulders like that. _Okay, you don't get to answer any more questions until I have my way._

**39. Dirty phrase?** I had one all picked out before that interruption. I think I may have a new one now, though. _Which one?_ 'So tight, baby, all night.' _And I thought I was being corny._ I think it was the way you said it. _I'm good._

**40. Fantasy?** I still love me a blonde cheerleader on a piano. _No new one?_ What can I say? I'm consistent. _Well, yeah. Your life goal has been to take Broadway since you were like four. Months. _RME.

**Last Few:**

**41. Did you like this questionnaire?** It's all right. _I lurv this questionnaire._ 'Lurv' isn't a word. _It is now._

**42. Will you pass this on?** No. _I think we should give it to Brittany and Santana._ I don't think I want to know their answers to some of these. _You're no fun._ I am offended. _Is there any way I can make it up to you?_ Horndog. _So are you. You just hide it better._ Sexy Q? _Yes, Mad Libby?_ Shut up.


End file.
